Next to learning to love yourself, nothing is more powerful for the healing of deep wounds than forgiveness. Most people have misconceptions about the true nature of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not only about extending goodness and mercy to those who have caused you pain; it is about loving yourself enough to forgive yourself for listening to, doing something you knew was wrong or going along with people who mislead you. Or possibly, you need to forgive yourself for something you wish you had or had not done. Say to yourself, “I’m ready to let go of this guilt and begin anew.”
Freeing yourself through forgiveness gives you the ability to live a life of purpose with nothing holding you back. Sometimes forgiveness just happens; most of the time it takes a conscious effort.
Forgiveness changes the present, not the past. It will change your future. It is a choice you make to heal yourself of any errors you made as well as resolving any hurts still lingering within you.
Be patient as forgiveness takes work and is never an easy process. When an issue from your past resurfaces, “learn from it” take a deep breath as you let go of the remembered pain. Love yourself enough to allow forgiveness to heal the hurt.
The following steps may help you:
- Make a conscious decision to forgive. Become aware of the past hurts you still carry within you. Offer forgiveness to any person who may have been part of the pain you still remember. (Use mental visualization)
- If you are responsible for hurting another, intentionally or unintentionally, make amends in the best way possible.
- Writing a letter – a letter of apology to yourself or the other person is a wonderful way to bring closure to any situation. Even when the other person is no longer in your life or on earth because these letters are for your healing not to be mailed.
- Forgiveness plants – peace lily, purple hyacinth (both mean – I’m sorry)
- Turn to scripture for healing- Corinthians 13:4-5 love is patient…. and keeps no record of wrongs.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. If someone cuts you off in traffic, your coffee spills in the car- let it go!
To embrace the art of forgiveness, envision a brighter future. Releasing the pain or guilt from wrongdoings helps you see every moment as a new opportunity to love yourself. This is the healing power you create by learning to live in the art of forgiveness.
Sincerely with love,
Ask Mary Ellen
R.E.A.L Health Mindfulness Center www.askmaryellen.com