Are you a Love giver or taker?

“Human beings are sent to earth to give love to the world, yet most humans search to take love from our world.”

I thought this to be a very interesting quote because it is so profound. Humans take and take and take until the earth has nothing left to give. How does this quote relate to finding a long-lasting loving relationship?

Sadly, you have been taught some very “erroneous societal” teachings about love and relationships.

You were taught you had to have someone in your life to either love you or complete you. Neither is true! You are already complete, and perfect just as you are right now. The Truth is “no one else can love you until you love yourself because your “loving relationship” is a mirror for you!”

To find a relationship, if you want one, you must “become what you seek.” If you want someone to love and care for you, love and care for yourself first. Want someone to be financially secure then you become financially secure. Do you want someone to be organized, responsible, nice looking, physically fit, or well dressed? Then, yes, you become all of those traits – or most of them – and like magic what you seek is right in front of you.

This is harder than it sounds because instead of finding that “perfect loving relationship” to take care of you, love you, treat you with respect etc… You must take a hard, very truthful look at yourself first. This is not easy for any of us.

Here are some helpful tips for you during this “month of love.”

  1. If you are in a relationship that doesn’t work for you, is abusive or you know in your heart is not what God wants for you – get out, leave, make a plan to do what is right for your life. Because when you’re not happy you cannot make anyone else happy either. Marriage relationships, unless abusive or unsafe, should be worked on by both partners. This is the commitment you made to each other before God.
  2. Before you move to another relationship, learn the lessons about yourself, you were meant to learn in your last relationship. Otherwise, you will go from one relationship to another making the same mistakes. These errors will look different and they will be teaching you the same lesson.
  3. Make a list of the top 5 traits you would like to find in another person. Work on becoming those characteristics within yourself.
  4. Make a vision board. Get a piece of poster board, some old magazines, some glue and scissors. Cut out pictures, words, pictures of people and things you want in your life. All positive and be specific. Details matter. Cover the entire poster board. Make it fun by including some friends or your kids to participate.
    You do not need flowers, candy or cards to be loved. Sure, all of these are wonderful and you can buy yourself flowers. Who do you send a card to on Valentines Day?

Try thinking of sending loving kindness to others during this month of love.
Remember, you were sent to earth to give love to our world. Giving love to each other aides in the healing of our planet. I don’t know about you, I think our world needs all the love we can generate.
Sincerely with love,
Ask Mary Ellen (Mary Ellen Ciganovich)