One of the most difficult lessons we must learn through living is learning to “Love Yourself”. You are born with the natural ability to love – unconditionally. You are born a clean slate full of this wonderful loving feeling. Yet slowly day by day without even our knowledge we are taught our “unlovingness”. The societal misperceptions of motives, judgments and expectations are anything but loving.

Self- love must become a way of life that you not only practice but live on a daily basis. Teach your family members – through your example – how to face their problems (misperceptions) with a loving attitude. However you cannot teach something that you yourself do not know. So how do you begin to “Learn to Love Yourself”

First you become aware of the first moment you were told, “No”, “you are wrong”, or, “this is the way you have to do it”. In this moment you began to question your ability to think and feel for yourself. You began to “give your power away” to someone in authority who you were “told” knew better. You must take yourself back to the moment or moments where you began to place the opinions of others above your own. 

 When you began to create an identity for yourself – usually as a teenager – you tried many forms of self-expression. Some of these forms of self-expression worked and maybe at times you found yourself in trouble. During these “trouble teen” times when you should have been learning to choose differently and love yourself in spite of your error in judgment, you were probably told, “see I told you ______!” You began to look to other people to validate your accomplishments when those are the very people who took your power (love of self) away. I don’t think any of us get through our teen years without feeling misunderstood or unaccepted. 

Become aware of how you receive affection,  kindness, love  and joy because this is what you teach your children.  Become aware of all the things that make you happy. Allow yourself as an adult to laugh and play.

 Stop looking to others in your life to validate your feelings.  You must choose a way of living through becoming honest with yourself as to what is stopping you from loving yourself.  You must be willing to express your feelings and release your judgments from your past experiences.  Empower yourself by accepting yourself just as you are whole, complete and perfect. By learning to love yourself and living your life this way you will be teaching your children that their lives and feelings are valuable. Love is THE transforming element that will transform you back to an adult full of the same unconditional love as an innocent newborn baby. 

This month and forever more discover your LIGHT which is Love which is God within you. Remember that you are complete, whole and perfect just the way you are and just the way you were born!

Sincerely with love,

Mary Ellen Ciganovich

Author – Healing Words, Life Lessons to Inspire

www.askmaryellen.com 

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